This is a great summary of John Gottman's book for couples called 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work. It includes a summary of some of his great research and some tips for building a stronger, more intimate and caring relationship

What does it take for couples to sustain love? With Fierce Intimacy, this renowned author offers a revolutionary way of living in connection - one that allows you to cherish your partner, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure.

Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how our autonomic nervous system unconsciously monitors our surroundings to assess safety or danger. It consists of three response pathways—ventral vagal (social engagement), sympathetic (fight or flight), and dorsal vagal (immobilisation)—which regulate our reactions and drive behaviour to ensure survival.

The window of tolerance is how we handle stress and stay balanced. Trauma can narrow this window, leading to anxiety or emotional numbness. Practices like self-care and breathing can help expand it. For those with significant trauma, therapy may be needed to support emotional regulation.
Click below to view a detailed PDF that shows the various levels of the window of tolerance.

This foundational theory of The Gottman Institute gives couples the tools they need to have a healthy secure relationship. What is the Sound Relationship House exactly? Here is an overview floor by floor.

The ANS controls three states based on perceived safety. First, we engage socially to seek comfort. If danger persists, we shift to fight or flight. If this fails, we enter a freeze or collapse state.